For your lives! For all of us!
by GemmGemm
Summary: Story number three of my Cullen/Lavellan story. Starting at the sealing of The Breach until their arrival at Haven. Cullens POV.


The Breach was strangely beautiful. In a destructive, destroy the world kind of way. Still, Cullen wouldn't be sad to see it go. He'd watched the sun set through the green light it gave off the night before, hopefully for the last time. If all went to plan, then by the time the sun set that night it would be gone.

The strongest of the mages were ready, they'd spent the morning in meditation preparing themselves. They'd quietly entered the chantry at dawn and the sounds of their prayer echoing off the stone walls had reminded Cullen of the more pleasant memories he'd had in the tower. Even the good memories he had of the circle seemed polluted at times but it still comforted him slightly to see them taking their new found alliance seriously.

Ellana had, of course, taken a slightly different approach to preparation. She'd gathered her companions in the Tavern, bought them breakfast and took turns with Varric trying to outdo each other with more and more outlandish stories. Their laughter had woken any poor sod that had chosen today to have a lie in. Still, they'd found it hard to be angry when they discovered she'd left a pile of gold behind the bar for their return, nobody would need to pay for their drinks that night.

Despite the earlier revelry, Ellana was still waiting by the gate as Cullen led the mages from the chantry. She was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed, a casual air that was merely for show. Cullen could see the nervousness in the line of her shoulders and the stiffness of her arms. She was making the effort to put the others at ease despite her own feelings, Cullen could respect that.

"Herald." He greeted her with a nod and Ellana and her group fell in line,

"Commander." She replied, mimicking his tone.

"Are you ready?"

"Always. Let's go seal The Breach shall we?"

The valley was peaceful as they made their way to The Temple of Sacred Ashes. The mages behind them were softly talking among themselves, Ellana's rather louder group of misfits were bringing up the rear.

"Nervous?" He asked her quietly out of the corner of his mouth.

She shrugged in response, glancing over her shoulder to make sure they weren't being overheard, "Perhaps a little. This morning helped, you should have joined us."

He laughed under his breath, "Loud taverns aren't exactly my scene Ellana, especially not first thing in the morning."

"Nor mine truth be told. But sometimes it does you good to remind yourself what this is all about. It's far too easy to get so bogged down in fighting you forget what you're actually fighting for."

"True enough. So we're fighting for your right to drink at dawn, eat bacon and wake half of Haven with some truly, truly terrible singing?"

"Oh hush," She said, swatting at his arm, "You know what I mean."

He smiled down at her, "Yeah, I do."

The crumbling balcony that circled the temple was still standing, so Cullen took up position there with a handful of soldiers as Ellana made her way around the room with Cassandra, Solas and the mages. The rest of her party came to stand with him. Cullen found himself strangely grateful for their company, these were the people that knew Ellana best and he could feel his own nervousness mirrored in them. With Varric on one side and Dorian on the other they watched in silence as Ellana and the others dropped down into the centre of the temple. Cassandra gripped her arm before she and Solas stood back to address the mages. They were ready. Ellana squared her shoulders and marched forward, the air sparked and crackled with magic as the mages poured their collective will through her and into the mark. She pushed and fought her way forward until she was directly below The Breach. She looked so incredibly small when compared to the giant chasm hanging over their heads. Her marked hand flew into the air and the mark and Breach connected. Cullen felt every muscle tense as he could do nothing but watch as she strained with the effort. _Maker, she's_ _incredible_ , the thought flashed briefly through his mind before Ellana yanked her hand away and an explosion of green light rocked the temple. Cullen started forward, hands gripping the stone railing surrounding the balcony, eyes searching the gloom for a flash of her silver hair. The dust settled and he saw her, on one knee with her head bowed. Cassandra ran forward to help but before she could get to her Ellana stood and a cheer went up around them, echoing in the ruin. Ellana's group behind him let out the largest cry, except for Varric who briefly touched his arm before saying softly,

"She's fine, Curly. You can let go now."

Cullen relaxed the vice like grip he had on the crumbling railing and released the breath he hadn't realised he was holding. Ellana turned towards where they waited, standing proudly and beaming at them.

"Well, our girl really is something, isn't she?" Said Dorian from his other side before sticking two fingers in his mouth and letting out a high pitched whistle. Cullen whole heartedly agreed.

He waited for her to one side of the doors and was surprised when she stopped next to him, letting the others go on ahead. She made a point of saying something to every person that passed, thanking them for their effort on The Inquisitions behalf. He waited until the last of the mages was out of ear shot before asking quietly,

"You OK?"

"Yeah, just a little wobbly. I'll be fine in a minute." She leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.

"You sure?"

She shot him an impatient look, "Yes, Cullen. I'm fine."

He just shrugged at her, looking away, "I just didn't want to carry you back down this mountain. Again."

"Again?" Her eye brows shot up in surprise,

He turned back to her with a grin, "Yes, again. Twice actually. The first time when you fell out of The Breach and again the when you closed the temple rift."

"Oh," she said, and winced, "I didn't know that. It's a long walk back to Haven, I'm suddenly regretting having such a big breakfast."

"That's alright. I imagine you're a lot lighter without your armour on." His cheeks heated when he realised what he'd said, "Not that I-I mean I-er-um-"

Ellana snorted with laughter at his obvious embarrassment, "Well well well Commander, I would never have guessed," his blush intensified as he rubbed his neck awkwardly, she nudged him gently with an elbow, "Don't worry, your depraved secrets are safe with me." She gave him a conspiratorial wink as she pushed herself off the wall, "Come on, let's head back. I'll try very hard not to collapse on the way." They hurried to catch up with the others and Cullen prayed he'd get his blush under control before they met them.

It had been a good day, all of Haven was celebrating. Cullen was surprised to find he was rather eager to join them. He just had a few duties left before he could finish for the night; he wasn't quite happy with the calibration of one of the trebuchets. He might actually take up Ellana's offer to join her and the others in the tavern later. He couldn't deny that he was drawn to her, lying to himself at this point was pointless. Not that it mattered, he had no intention of acting on it. He was surprised to discover that the fact she was a mage really didn't bother him as he'd have expected it to. It was a positive reminder of how far he'd come, how much he'd distanced himself from the man he was ashamed to admit he'd become after Kinlock Hold. Still, she was The Herald of Andraste for crying out loud, they were at war, it was impossible even without his own personal demons. And yet-A flare of light on the mountain caught his eye moments before a chorus of war horns and warning bells filled the air. Suddenly there was movement all over the village as people ran to arm themselves. Cullen sprinted for the gates, shouting orders at soldiers and civilians. Rylan ran up to him with a report,

"Sir," Rylan said between gasps of air, "The long watch guard's reported in. There's an army marching on Haven."

"Who?" Cullen barked at him, "How many?"

"We don't know Commander, they aren't flying colours. No exact reports on numbers but it's a lot. Too many." Rylan's grim expression said it all.

"Alright. Rylan get your men and meet me at the gates. Have the newer recruits round up as many of the villagers as they can and get them to the chantry. Have the mages meet us at the gates too. The ones we took to The Breach can lead them. Now, go."

Leliana and Josephine arrived moments before Ellana, who had Cassandra, Dorian and Varric in tow. Cullen quickly filled them in on everything they knew which, granted, wasn't a lot at this point. A bang had them all whirling around toward the gate, after a moment the gates banged again and this time a voice he didn't recognise called out for them to open. Before he could stop her Ellana bolted,

"Ellana! Wait!" But he was too late. She threw the doors open and ran outside and down the steps. Cullen chased after her with a curse, drawing his sword. Bodies littered the ground at their feet, they arrived just in time to see a young man fell a huge knight twice his size. He slipped his daggers away as they drew closer, a large hat obscured most of his face but Cullen was sure he'd never seen him before, which could only mean he'd come with the invading army.

"I'm Cole, I came to warn you, to help." Cole stepped quickly forward towards Ellana, Cullen moved threateningly with his sword raised, trying to put himself between her and Cole.

"What is this? What's going on?" She asked him.

"The Templars come to kill you." Cullen could have sworn his heart stopped dead in his chest. Then the first part of what Cole had said clicked into place,

"The Templars?" He took another step forward and Cole jumped back away from him, he turned to Ellana instead, "This is The Orders response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?"

Cole had crept closer again, "The Red Templars went to the elder one, you know him, he knows you. You took his mages." Cole pointed towards the mountains. Just cresting the closest hill stood an impossibly tall creature, even from a distance it's resemblance to a dark spawn was unmistakeable. It towered over the man standing at it's side. Looking at the man Cullen felt a spark of recognition. Samson.

"I know that man, but this elder one." Cullen's words trailed off as they saw more and more Red Templars pour over the mountains towards them.

"He's very angry that you took his mages." Cole said softly.

By comparison, Ellana's voice was frantic, "Cullen, give me a plan. Anything!"

"Haven is no fortress. To withstand this monster we must control the battle." He swallowed hard, "Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can." He pointed her towards the trebuchets before unsheathing his sword again and turning back to the soldiers and mages that Rylan had gathered at the gates.

"Mages!" He called, "You have sanction to engage them. That is Samson, he will not make it easy. Inquisition! With The Herald, for your lives, for all of us!" The roars from the soldiers and mages filled his ears as they charged down the steps.

Cullen stayed by the gates as a last line of defence for the village. Ellana had signalled him a while ago, letting him know she was headed to the farthest trebuchet that had unexpectedly stopped firing. He'd prayed there was just a malfunction with the mechanism and the lack of fire wasn't caused by the fact that it had been overrun. But he'd maintained these machines himself and knew the likelihood of it being the former of the two options was almost zero. He waited and waited, it was taking too long, something had gone wrong. He was in the process of gathering some men to send after her when the trebuchet finally fired. It was facing the wrong way though, he watched aghast as the boulder it hurled flew over the encroaching army and hit the mountainside. An instant later he realised it wasn't an accident but a stroke of genius as an avalanche rumbled the ground beneath his feet, burying the Red Templars. He sighed in relief as a resounding cheer went up around him. It was, however, a momentary reprieve. An unholy screech echoed from the mountains as a monster, bigger than any dragon he'd ever seen, soared over their heads. It blasted fire at the trebuchet Ellana was manning, even from his distance Cullen could see the explosion. It swooped low before it turned to fly over the village. The cheers quickly turned to screams as people ran to take cover.

"Go!" He yelled to the men closest to him, "Get everyone to the chantry!" Fire exploded around the village as the dragon circled over them again, blasting flames at everything it passed. He looked back to the path just as Ellana, Cassandra, Dorian and Varric came into view.

"Move it!" He shouted at them, holding the gates open as they ran inside. He barred it behind them and turned to Ellana, "We need to get everyone to the chantry, it's the only building that might be able to withstand that beast. At this point, just make them work for it."

Ellana nodded at him, "You go left, we'll go right. Grab any stragglers and we'll meet you at the chantry."

Shouting to the few soldiers and mages that still hovered by the gates he ran. He managed to pull Seggrit from a burning building by smashing down the door and throwing the man's arm over his shoulder. He didn't see anyone else left alive so, with his men, he ran for the chantry. He rushed inside, taking Seggrit to the others and found a healer for him. By the time he'd made it back to the doors Ellana was running over the threshold. Cole was with her, helping a badly injured Chancellor Roderick to sit down.

Ignoring the newcomers for now he focused on Ellana, "Herald, our position isn't good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us."

"I've seen an arch-demon. I was in the fade, but it looked like that." Cole spoke up from his position, crouched next to Roderick's chair.

"I don't care what it looks like, it's carved a path for that army. They'll kill everyone in Haven."

"The elder one doesn't care about the village, he only wants The Herald."

Ellana shrugged, "Well, that makes life easier then. If it'll save these people he can have me." She'd said it without hesitation and Cullen knew she meant it. Before he could protest Cole shook his head,

"It won't. He wants to kill you, no one else matters but he'll crush them, kill them anyway. I don't like him."

Cullen threw his arms up in exasperation, "You don't like-" They didn't have time for this, with a sigh he dismissed Cole and turned to Ellana instead, "Herald, there are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was that avalanche." He steeled his spine and hardened his resolve for what he had to say next, "We could turn the remaining trebuchet, cause one last slide."

Her eyebrows shot up at the implications of his suggestion, "We're overrun. To hit the enemy we'd bury Haven."

He nodded, "We're dying. But we can decide how," he reached for her hand and squeezed her fingers for a brief moment before letting go, "Many don't get that choice."

"Wait." Roderick's voice sounded choked and pained, "There is a way. The people can escape. She must have shown me, Andraste must have shown me, so I could tell you. There is a path, you wouldn't know unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage as I have. With so many in the Conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers...I don't know Herald. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident, you could be more."

"How about it Cullen? Will it work?" Ellana asked, looking back toward him again,

He nodded in response, "Provided he shows us the path, but what of your escape?" Ellana turned her eyes from his and he felt his heart drop to the region of his stomach. No way, over his dead body. He reached for the hilt of his sword,

"Then I'll go with you."

"No Cullen." She put her hand on top of his, "Get the people out."

"I refuse to stand here and argue about this. We'll-"

"I'll go with her." Cassandra interrupted him, she stepped from the shadows with Varric and Dorian, "Ellana is right, Commander. Someone needs to lead the people to safety. We'll make sure you have time."

Ellana turned to her three friends, narrowing her eyes at Cassandra she debated with herself for a moment before saying, "Fine. But if I say you run, then you run and catch up with the others. Promise me now or I swear by all that is holy, I'll hex you right this second and Cullen can carry you up that damn mountain." Cullen knew she meant this too. So did Cassandra, she swallowed hard before nodding in agreement.

Cole hauled Chancellor Roderick to his feet as Cullen issued orders to the soldiers, sending them scurrying to round everyone up and start on the path. He caught Ellana and the others just as they were about to go through the doors. Her gaze was pure determination, there'd be no talking her out of this.

"We'll signal when we're above the tree line."

"I'll be watching for it."

"If you are to have a chance, let that thing hear you."

Fire danced in her eyes when she responded, "Oh don't worry, if that things here for me, he's going to have to fight for it."

Feeling lower than dirt he watched as Ellana and the others stormed out the chantry doors, slamming them closed behind them. With a rough shake of his head Cullen forced himself to focus. The sooner he got everyone up the mountain the sooner Ellana could make her escape.

Cullen let the arrow fly the second the last person was out of the trees. An instant later the trebuchet fired and they watched in silence as snow buried Haven. The silence was deafening as they waited for the four they'd left behind. Sera glared mutinously in his direction but for once managed to hold her tongue. It didn't help. He should have been with them, he should have insisted. Hell, he should have done a lot of things. Guilt made his stomach churn and he made his hand's itch to be doing something. Anything. But there was nothing to do but wait. And pray.

Cassandra, Varric and Dorian marched through the tree line. He'd known Ellana wasn't going to be with them but he'd hoped. Varric and Dorian kept moving past him to join the others. Their greetings to each other were made bitter sweet by the fact that one of them was missing. Cassandra stopped by his side.

"She ordered us to leave Cullen."

"I know."

"We can't stay here."

"I know."

Taking his elbow she turned him and nudged him up the hill.

Even though he knew, he _knew,_ it wasn't Cassandras fault he couldn't help the small spark of resentment that they'd made it back and she hadn't. It was petty and small of him. He knew the blame fell entirely at his own feet but feeling angry was better than the hollow nothing he had been feeling so he embraced it wholeheartedly.

Moving a large group of terrified people up a mountain range in a blizzard was no small task. They had no plan, no destination and as much as he didn't want to admit it to the civilians, he was pretty sure they were lost. He, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra poured over their maps, trying to figure out where they were and where they were going to no avail. The frequent avalanches and snow storms meant the scenery was constantly changing so landmarks were hard to spot and the blizzard had prevented them from using the stars as guides. It was a slow slog that he found both frustrating and grateful for in turn. He needed the people to move faster in the hopes of the elder one losing their trail but on the other hand if Ellana was still out there somewhere she needed to be able to find them. He'd been careful to leave signs at each of their camps, usually a burned out cooking fire, in the hopes she'd be able to follow them but after this length of time things weren't looking good. The blizzard had finally ceased though so at least when he went out looking tonight visibility would be better. Every time they'd stopped he and Cassandra had organised search parties. There was no shortage of volunteers. Every person who'd been in that valley knew to whom they owed their lives but even he had to admit that moral was dropping by the hour.

He was stifling a yawn with the back of his hand when Cassandra approached him shortly after they'd made camp. She looked at him in sympathy,

"Why don't you leave it to us tonight and rest? You're dead on your feet."

"I'm fine." Cullen replied stiffly, tightening his cloak and pulling on gloves.

"When was the last time you slept?"

"I caught a few hours before dawn. Don't worry, Cassandra." She studied him for a moment before shaking her head and leading him over to that nights group of volunteers. While he hadn't actually lied, he hadn't told the full truth either. He had tried to sleep but nightmares had disturbed him so much he felt worse than if he hadn't bothered at all. He'd suffered nightmares ever since Kinloch Hold, they'd only worsened when he'd stopped taking lyrium. Now they were worse than ever. The demons that his mind conjured had whispered that if he'd been taking lyrium none of this would have happened. If he hadn't been so distracted by his cravings he'd have seen something they could have done to prevent this. They'd have been prepared. He warred with himself constantly over whether he should start taking it again but so far his resolve was winning out. He knew he should talk to Cassandra about it, but the small grain of resentment he was feeling toward her hadn't vanished yet so he held back. Resentment seemed to be one of the only things they had in abundance. Sera still hadn't spoken a word to him, she still blamed him for leaving Ellana and the others behind. He couldn't say he blamed her. It was his own fault the soldiers and scouts were avoiding him though, he'd been snapping at them at the slightest provocation. He'd make an effort tonight, he decided. Squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin and he and Cassandra split their search party into small groups.

They moved outward from the camp in increasing circles. Each group taking a section of the circle with the camp in the centre, that way they couldn't miss anything. He and Cassandra had been climbing steadily uphill for awhile when she suddenly blurted out,

"It wasn't your fault." He turned to her in surprise. The expression on her face clearly said she hadn't meant to speak the words aloud.

"Excuse me?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "You forget I know you Cullen. I'd bet my last gold piece that you're torturing yourself with guilt." Now she'd started it seemed she was going to say her piece, "You couldn't have prevented it. The elder one, the Red Templars, Haven, Ellana-"

"Hush!"

Her nostrils flared as she rounded on him, "There's no need to-"

"No Cassandra, be quiet. I hear something." Neither of them moved as they listened intently, there it was again. "That way." He pointed to his left and the two of them hurried up the hill. They crested the rise and he saw her, a small figure with arms wrapped around herself climbing towards them.

"There!" He yelled, "It's her!"

"Thank the Maker." Cassandra shouted behind him. Ellana fell and Cullen broke into a run, dropping to his knees in front of her.

"Ellana, Ellana look at me." He clicked his fingers under her nose until she lifted her chin, frost covered her lashes and her eyes were worryingly unfocused when they met his but the barest of smiles crossed her face before her chin dropped to her chest again. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the clasp of his cloak, ripping his gloves off he eventually managed to get the cloak unfastened and throw it over her. She was shivering uncontrollably and her skin felt like ice when his fingers brushed her neck. When he moved his hands to her sides to help her up she cried out in pain, he immediately let her go, putting them both back on their knees in the snow,

"Where?"

"Ribs...hip..." she got out through chattering teeth. He turned his head to glance at Cassandra, she looked as frantic as he'd ever seen her. She nodded at him, interpreting his look,

"I'll get things ready." She said before turning on her heel and running back towards camp.

"Ellana, we need to get you to camp, I'm going to pick you up but it's going to hurt. I'm sorry." She nodded and as gently as he could he slipped his arms around her and lifted her from the ground. Her body tensed but relaxed once she was settled against his chest. The shivering hadn't abated even slightly and cold seemed to radiate from her. Moving as quickly as he dared, mindful of hurting her again, he began his descent.

"Maker Ellana, I thought we'd lost you."

"Then.." Her tongue darted out to wet her chapped lips, "Then you'd have no means of closing the rifts." Her voice was croaky and her words stilted from the chattering teeth but was so unmistakably her that he couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips. Just when he'd thought he hadn't a smile left in him. He shook his head.

"That isn't funny, Ellana."

"I know." Her eyes slid shut and a single tear escaped. He held her tighter, putting her face into the crook of his neck.

"Don't fall asleep, we're nearly there."

She didn't speak again on the way back to camp but Cullen could feel her shallow breath on his neck and focused on that.

The rhythm of her breathing had returned to almost normal by the time he deposited her carefully on a cot Cassandra had prepared. She'd also gathered Mother Gisselle, Dorian and Solas. The shivering didn't seem quite as bad as it had been and the blue that had tinged her lips had all but vanished. Backing quietly out of the tent he left the healers to do their work. Dorian had promised to keep them updated on her progress. He almost leapt out of his skin when he turned around and a dozen faces wearing the same expression were staring at him expectantly. Cassandra made a disgusted noise when he stared blankly back at them,

"Well?" She asked, "How is she?" Cullen shook the momentary lapse away,

"Resting for the moment. Dorian will keep us informed of any changes." The others split away until only Cassandra remained. She looked at him seriously,

"Go sleep Cullen. We'll wake you as soon as we know anything." He was suddenly exhausted, he patted her gratefully on the shoulder as he passed. The resentment he'd felt earlier had dissipated in his relief at finding Ellana.

He thought he might actually be able to sleep and forced his feet to carry him to his own tent, collapsing on his cot without even bothering to remove his boots. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

They'd been arguing for hours and it was getting them nowhere. The people were tired, disillusioned and terrified. Cullen threw his arms up in exasperation,

"What would you have me tell them? This isn't what we asked them to do."

"We cannot simply ignore this, we must find a way." He was tempted to ask Cassandra what, exactly, she thought they should do but he was well aware she didn't have any more answers than he did.

"And who put you in charge?" he snapped at her, "We must have a consensus or we have nothing." It seemed the four of them hadn't agreed on anything since Haven and the constant arguments had everyone on edge.

"Please!" Josephine practically begged them, "We must use reason, without the infrastructure of The Inquisition we're hobbled."

It was times like this that Cullen felt the empty space that Ellana usually filled. She had, thankfully, recovered from her ordeal. Physically at any rate. She was just sleeping now, but in no danger. He'd stopped by several times a day and she looked better every time. She'd re-fractured a rib that had been broken during her fight with Alexuis and torn the ligaments in her hip. Between the healers the injuries had been fixed in no time. The major concern had been hypothermia and exposure. She had been lucky she'd found them when she had, another few hours...

Even though he knew she was going to be alright these Maker forsaken circular arguments made him feel the lack of her presence more keenly. Hers had been the voice of reason in most of their more heated discussions and, without knowing exactly when it had happened, Cullen realised they'd unofficially been following her as they would a leader. They now found themselves in the uncomfortable position of struggling to make a decision without her.

He couldn't say of this aloud of course, so he snapped at Josephine instead,

"Well that can't come from nowhere."

"She didn't say it could." Leliana jumped to Josephines defence. Before he could say anything else Cassandra put an arm up between them,

"Enough!" She shouted, "This is getting us nowhere!"

"Well, we're agreed on that much." As he turned from Cassandra his gazed passed over Ellana's tent. She was awake, propped up on one elbow on her cot. She looked disappointed. Shame overwhelmed the anger when he realised they'd woken her up with their arguing. He looked away, embarrassed, this wasn't exactly the reunion he'd been hoping for. She climbed gingerly from her cot and moved to the entrance of the tent, planting her hands on her hips. She stared at the ground between her feet as she scrambled for something to say, to fix whatever had broken between them since the elder ones attack on Haven. She didn't need to. The rich voice of Mother Gisselle filled the air and the words to the chantry hymn, The Dawn Will Come, flowed around them. After the first few words Leliana joined in, then another voice, and another. Cullen found himself joining them and before long every member of The Inquisition was joined in song.

A new accord had settled between the four of them as he, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine sat by the fire. Ellana had promised to join them later before disappearing with Solas, the elf being as cryptic as ever. What he wasn't expecting, however, was for Ellana to return laden down with maps. Dropping them at her feet she looked around at them. The excitement back in her eyes when she said,

"I know where we're going. We're heading north. We're going to find The Inquisition a new home."

Skyhold was perfect. Or it would be, given time. The potential was there and Cullen could already see the fortress it was going to become. It would take a lot of work but he didn't doubt for a moment that they were up to the challenge. Maker only knew how Solas had known about this place, but the important thing was that Corypheus didn't. Ellana had told them everything she could remember about the dark spawn magister while they made the long hike to Skyhold. The religious implications were mind blowing, could he really be one of the magisters that cracked the Golden City? One of the men that had cursed the world with The Blight because of pride? Maybe and maybe not. It wasn't his job to analyse the philosophy behind it, that was a job for more spiritually minded men than him. His job was their safety. He vowed they'd never be take by surprise again. He would not allow a repeat of what had happened at Haven.

He was directing soldiers on where to take building material when Cassandra approached him.

"Do you have a moment, Commander?" He looked up from the paper work he was going over.

"Of course." He dismissed the remaining men and crossed his arms expectantly.

"I've already spoken to Leliana and Josphine but I wanted your opinion. We're official now, The Inquisition. If what Ellana saw in the dark future is true, then Empress Celene is in danger of assassination, we still don't know what's happening with The Wardens, we need to find this demon army and there's around a thousand other things that need our attention. We need a leader."

"Is this a serious question?" He asked, leaning his weight onto one hip.

"Well, yes. We need someone that has the authority to act."

"Of course we do. I'm just surprised you're asking who I think it should be. It's Ellana," he said with a shrug, "She's been leading us from the beginning anyway. We just didn't notice."

"It's unanimous then."

"She won't thank us for this, you know that."

Cassandra snorted, "I'd be more concerned if I thought she would. She's not a fan of titles and ceremony." Something they had in common, Cullen thought before he laughed quietly to himself.

"What?" Cassandra asked.

"I'm just picturing her face when she finds out what the honorific is for The Inquisitor." Cassandra groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Remind me not to be around the first time someone calls her that."

That afternoon they made it official. Cassandra took Ellana on a long loop around the steps while Cullen and Josephine gathered people in the courtyard. He could pinpoint the instant she realised what was going on. She stopped mid-stride and looked at Cassandra as though she'd lost her mind. Cullen couldn't hear the words being said but could read the doubt in her eyes when Ellana scanned the courtyard. Her gaze stopped when it landed on him and he nodded encouragingly at her, tentatively she reached out and lifted the sword. Bringing it to eye level she turned out to face the crowd,

"This isn't about a greater message. We have an enemy and we have to stand together. We'll do what is right. The Inquisition will fight for all of us."

Cassandra stepped forward, "Have our people been told?"

"They have," Josephine replied, "And soon the world."

"Commander, will they follow?"

With a grin at Ellana he turned to face the people, "Inquisition! Will you follow?" The roar in reply was almost deafening, he had to bellow to be heard over them "Will you fight? Will we triumph? Your leader! Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!" He knew she'd make him pay for it later, but it was worth any punishment she could dream up for the instant Ellana lifted the great sword over her head.

Cullen knew it was only a matter of time before she searched him out. They were both busy after the days ceremony but he had to admit to a little impatience. They hadn't spoken alone since Haven, it was enough to make him miss the freezing cold dock.

Evening was upon them before she found him, he was going over reports at a table in the great hall. He hadn't had chance to clear office space yet, but so long as he had a table and candle to see by, the hall would do fine. She flung herself into a chair next to him, letting her head fall back with a dramatic sigh and put an arm over her eyes,

"Long day your worship?" He asked innocently, she lifted her arm high enough to glare at him,

"Don't you start. Worship is even worse than Herald. A bit of warning might have been nice, by the way."

"What? And spoil the surprise? Wouldn't dream of it." Her glare deepened.

"And the speech?"

"Good for morale."

"Uh huh. You do know you're all completely crazy right? I'm a mage and an elf. Stick me in front of a demon and I'll fry it, but this?" She gestured around the hall, "I don't even know where to begin."

"That's why we're here. You're not alone in this."

"And Inquisitor Lavellan doesn't sound at all strange to you?" She was passing it off as a joke but Cullen was getting better at reading her, she was genuinely self conscious underneath. He turned his chair so he was facing her properly.

"Honestly? Not at all. We needed a leader and you have proven yourself. You only need to look around to see that the people here believe in you. After Haven, they need something to believe in."

"Oh, so no pressure then?" she grinned at him but it slipped when he didn't return it. She tilted her head to one side, "Something wrong?"

"I've been meaning to talk to you about it. Haven." She sighed and propped her elbows on her knees, leaning forward,

"How many did we lose?"

"Most of our people made it to Skyhold. It could have been a lot worse. But..." His voice trailed off.

"Even one is one too many?" She finished for him. He glanced to a piece of parchment next to his hand, she followed his gaze, "That's it?"

He nodded, "The names of those we lost."

"May I?" He slid the paper over the table to her and watched her face as she read, her expression grim. "Their families will need to be notified."

"Leliana will take care of it." But she shook her head,

"Leliana has enough to do. I'll see to it." He started to protest but she stopped him, "Please Cullen, let me do it." She slipped the parchment into her pocket.

"We set up as best we could at Haven but weren't prepared for an attack of that magnitude, let alone an arch-demon or whatever it was. But we should have been, it was my responsibility and I-" She held a hand up, halting him part way though the speech he'd spent half of the evening memorising,

"If you apologise for the events of Haven, Cullen, then I swear I will use my new found powers as Inquisitor to have you flogged. Haven wasn't your fault. Or mine or Leliana's or anybody else's. You and I both saw that army, the fact that any of us walked away is nothing short of miraculous."

"But-"

"But nothing." There was determination in her voice, her chin tilted up and her eyes locked on his, "You want to blame someone for Haven? Then you can blame Corypheus. You said so yourself that most of our people made it to Skyhold. You show me a list of their names and I'll show you a list of people that owe you their lives, and mine would be at the top." Her tone softened, "I'm sorry, I'm not shouting at you. Well, I am, it's just-" She sighed before continuing, "You are too hard on yourself. Andraste's ass Cullen, we were attacked by a magister God with a pet arch demon and an army of Templars he has somehow managed to control. If you'd have told me a week ago this was going to happen, I'd have been concerned for your sanity. Haven was close, too close. But it could have been so much worse if we hadn't been as prepared as we were. I'm just relieved that you-that so many made it out."

"As am I." His reply was quiet as he kept his eyes firmly locked on the table. She sighed as she pushed her chair back and stood up. _Don't you are Rutherford,_ Cullen thought to himself, _she's The Inquisitor, The Herald of Andraste, you're at war, it isn't possible._ His hand shot out anyway and caught her wrist,

"You stayed behind, you could've-" He swallowed hard. "I won't allow the events of Haven to happen again. You have my word." He stared at her a moment longer before releasing her wrist and looking back to his paper work. Ellana trailed her fingers across the back of his shoulders as she continued to make her way towards the door. A pleasant shiver made its way down Cullen's spine as her bare fingers grazed his neck. He groaned when the door closed behind her, _Maker, I am in so much trouble._


End file.
